Thursday, March 25, 2010
I am letting go...
My mother has decided to leave her family members. I guess that is the best way to put it; she has spent the past two decades refusing to listen to anyone, including her doctors, on how she needs to change her lifestyle habits in order not to die.
Well, she has been dying, now, for several months, and when each episode occurs, she lands in the hospital for a "tune up" and then goes back home to just do as she pleases, not making any changes whatsoever.
She is only 73, but looks and acts nearly 15 years older...and the sad thing is that she could have prevented so much from happening to her. But, she made her choices...and now she is paying the price.
She is also choosing to have nothing to do with any family members any more, as she does not want to have to explain her health situation or choices to anyone. She has turned away everyone who cared about her...and now all she has left are a few friends.
I learned many years ago in recovery that I can only change how I react to others; that I cannot change others. Therefore, I can only change my reaction to what my mother is doing or not doing. Since my mother has chosen to shut me out of her life in such a way that is intentionally hurtful, I now need to protect myself by "staying away".
In the past, when she would do this, I would wait a while, then call her and go through the ensuing tongue lashing that would last the entire phone call in order to, once again, be in communication with my mother. This was typical of our relationship. NOW, I have decided I am no longer doing this.
Since my mother has made her choice to have nothing to do with me or any other family member, then she can be the one to call, if she chooses. I will send her cards and update her on her only grandchildren, but that is all that I can emotionally do anymore. I have been a doormat for my mother's emotional outbursts, antics, and rollercoaster nightmare for far too long.
My children need me emotionally and physically strong for them and whatever their futures hold for them. My mother is still living in her past and I no longer care to be there with her. So, I am letting go...
Well, she has been dying, now, for several months, and when each episode occurs, she lands in the hospital for a "tune up" and then goes back home to just do as she pleases, not making any changes whatsoever.
She is only 73, but looks and acts nearly 15 years older...and the sad thing is that she could have prevented so much from happening to her. But, she made her choices...and now she is paying the price.
She is also choosing to have nothing to do with any family members any more, as she does not want to have to explain her health situation or choices to anyone. She has turned away everyone who cared about her...and now all she has left are a few friends.
I learned many years ago in recovery that I can only change how I react to others; that I cannot change others. Therefore, I can only change my reaction to what my mother is doing or not doing. Since my mother has chosen to shut me out of her life in such a way that is intentionally hurtful, I now need to protect myself by "staying away".
In the past, when she would do this, I would wait a while, then call her and go through the ensuing tongue lashing that would last the entire phone call in order to, once again, be in communication with my mother. This was typical of our relationship. NOW, I have decided I am no longer doing this.
Since my mother has made her choice to have nothing to do with me or any other family member, then she can be the one to call, if she chooses. I will send her cards and update her on her only grandchildren, but that is all that I can emotionally do anymore. I have been a doormat for my mother's emotional outbursts, antics, and rollercoaster nightmare for far too long.
My children need me emotionally and physically strong for them and whatever their futures hold for them. My mother is still living in her past and I no longer care to be there with her. So, I am letting go...
Friday, August 14, 2009
Why do smokers have to litter?
Why is it that no matter where you go, smokers feel it is their right to toss lit cigarette butts? I'm driving along the highway and a lit cigarette comes flying right at my windowshield, sparks flying and everything.
Of course, this IS against the law, but that never stops smokers. Nor does it stop them from flicking cigarette butts on the ground outside office buildings, stores, restaurants, or anywhere else they may be smoking and have to put it out.
I'm tired of this crap and, quite frankly, will have no problem letting smokers know this if I see it happen again!
Of course, this IS against the law, but that never stops smokers. Nor does it stop them from flicking cigarette butts on the ground outside office buildings, stores, restaurants, or anywhere else they may be smoking and have to put it out.
I'm tired of this crap and, quite frankly, will have no problem letting smokers know this if I see it happen again!
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